ShopTalk: No Trespassing!

Dear Abigail,

I died several years ago and have been haunting my old home since then. There haven’t been any jobs around here, so the human population was shrinking. But I guess the economy is picking up, and lately there have been lots of people stomping through my house – and one of them is definitely a realtor! Please tell me you have something to help. I really don’t want to be evicted.

Sincerely,
Desperate in Detroit

Dear Desperate,

I’ve forwarded your contact information to the R&D department at GeistCo. You might be eligible to help them test some new human-repellant products. The details are classified, but I’ve heard rumors that this program may make your house more attractive to cats. I hope you’re not allergic!

Lots of Love,