ShopTalk: Death Stench

Dear Abigail,

Recently, my husband’s mother became a zombie and had to move in with us. I don’t mind too much, as there’s a daycare nearby and we can afford the premium mail-order brains that keep her appetite in check. What’s really getting to me is the smell. Every time I come home, I want to retch. Do you have anything that can help?

Sincerely,
Nostrally Nauseous

Dear Nauseous,

Kudos to you for taking care of your mother-in-law during this trying time. The scientists at PSN are working hard to find a cure for zombie-ism. Until they do, try Christie’s Candles. They’re specially formulated to rid your home of the undead aroma, and come in refreshing mint, lemon or lavender scents as well!

Aromatically yours,